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Mar. 2nd, 2007 @ 12:32 am (no subject)
Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
It's now been 24 hours minus 10 minutes since I slept. Why can't I sleep?? Why can't I turn my thoughts off even when I take sleeping tablets?? I managed to work another 12 hour plus shift today on less than 3 hours sleep. It was a good shift though and I learned a lot, I cared for a woman in HDU who was 21 and had a mitral valve replacement just over a month before finding herself pregnant. Labour ward just amazes me as you just don't know what's coming next. I also cared for one of the axilliary nurses daughters first thing this morning who was having her first baby, she ended up with a forceps in theatre and when I saw M the auxilliary crying when she held her new grandson that was me bubbling away too.

I really should get some sleep shouldn't I? I'm on for the next 2 nights....
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one mother one midwife
Feb. 28th, 2007 @ 08:13 pm Another milestone reached
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Another shift over and wey hey I sutured my first perineum today!!!
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Feb. 27th, 2007 @ 07:14 pm Every cloud..........
Current Mood: calmcalm
My Dad had a close escape on Friday. After the big scare with his heart and discovering he's suffering from angina he got the train home last Monday night, which is perhaps just as well as, had he not, he would have been on the train that crashed on Friday. It's difficult to see an angina attack as being fortuitous but it this case I think it probably was. He had more tests at the local hospital yesterday and yet again has ben told he has to change his diet and his lifestyle but it's difficult to get anything out of him at the moment he's walking about as if he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and doesn't seem event o have time for Maia which is most unusual. I have tried telling him that this has been a warning and he's being given a second chance, which a lot of people don't get but it's falling on deaf ears.

On a positive note I had some lovely days off, it really makes a difference when you actually do something during your days off, and most importantly actually have the energy to do something. D and I went to the Glasgow Art Galleries yesterday, which was wonderful and the first time I've been since it's been refurbished; we then had a lovely lunch at Stravaigan.

Oh well back to work tomorrow, only 6 more labour ward shifts before I'm back at uni, it's amazing how quickly this year is passing, I'll be a fully qualified and registered midwife before I know it....still gives me butterflies :o)
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Feb. 21st, 2007 @ 04:13 pm A week of ups and downs
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Peace perfect peace :o)
Well I’ve done it again haven’t I, left it too long between updates and now I’m struggling to remember everything. It’s certainly been a week or so of ups and downs so I’m going to try and separate them that way.


• I’ve had some lovely deliveries in labour ward including a twin birth, I
managed to deliver the 1st twin but couldn’t deliver the 2nd as it was breech,
it was amazing to watch the breech being delivered by my mentor though.

• Drew bought me a beautiful bouquet for Valentines Day and we had a lovely meal

• I got my exam results on Friday and after stressing so much I got an A for both
my NICU case study and for my Research exam and presentation, what a relief!!

On a more sombre note here are the downs.

• Maia cracked her forehead against a metal bar running for the school bus. We
had to go to Casualty and she had it glued together. I felt they were rather
slap dash about it and am worried it’s going to leave a bigger scar than it
might have done if they’d taken their time and made a neater job. Maia was a
total star and didn’t cry at all during the procedure in fact she had a fit of
the giggles with the entonox. She was very proud of her bravery certificate
but she’s not at all happy with the mark on her forehead and has even commented
on the fact that she’s not as pretty anymore :o(

• The worst news of all is that my Dad spent all day in hospital in Gillingham
with a suspected heart attack. He’s working down there at the moment and got
the sleeper from Glasgow on Sunday night but had chest pains and pins and
needles in his arm. He went through a load of tests and they say he has
angina. He ended up discharging himself before all the tests were completed as
he wanted to catch the train back up to Glasgow. He’s got a whole load of
medications including the GTN spray for under his tongue. I just feel he’s a
walking time bomb and he won’t listen to any advice re his diet, drinking or
lack of physical activity. I am hoping that this is a wake up call to him but
I’m not convinced. I also don’t feel my Mum is taking it all seriously enough.
She didn’t contact me or either of my brothers or sister to let us know Dad was
ill and when I said to her this morning that she should got with him for his
appointment on Thursday she said that she didn’t want to miss her slimming
• My insomnia has reached epic proportions and I had to call in sick yesterday
after having a total of 4 hours sleep over a 48 hour period. I just didn’t
feel I could face a 12 hour labour ward shift and keep my wits about me. I
manage to get to sleep, I’m physically exhausted, but I wake up with my mind
racing, and that’s with sleeping tablets!! It’s driving me insane :o(

• I had to go the dentist last week after suffering from toothache over the
weekend. I was given antibiotics and a return appointment for today.
Unfortunately the anti-b’s didn’t work and I had to undergo root treatment. My
mouth is now throbbing worse than ever but hopefully it’ll die down soon.

Well I suppose i should get organised for my nightshift, I hope it passes quickly and I manage to get a delivery or two, I'm now up to 29 (I couldn't count the twin delivery as I didn't deliver the 2nd twin or the placenta) only 11 more to go to meet with the NMC guidelines for registration :o)
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Feb. 7th, 2007 @ 10:41 pm (no subject)
Pirate Monkey's Harry Potter Personality Quiz
Harry Potter Personality Quiz
by Pirate Monkeys Inc.
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one mother one midwife
Feb. 6th, 2007 @ 10:14 pm Almost Feeling Human Again
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Peace and quiet....just what I need
It's taken me almost 2 full days to recover from my four 12 hour shifts and I've come to the conclusion, that although they were extremely stressful and mentally exhausting a lot of the problem is that I need to lose weight and I need to get a lot fitter.

Yesterday was lovely, I came off nightshift and went to pick M up for my Mums and took her to school. I came home, had a shower and climbed exhausted into bed. While I was sleeping Drew my wonderful BF let himself into the house very quietly and made a lovely big pot of chilli for dinner before snuggling in beside me :o) It was so nice to spend some quality time with both him and Maia last night and made me realise just how much I take them for granted.

I had a really lovely delivery on my nightshift which was reassuring and made me realise that I do still want to be a midwife I just wish there wasn't so much medical intervention.

This was a picture taken after my first ever delivery and I need to remember not to lose sight of the way it made me feel.
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one mother one midwife
Feb. 2nd, 2007 @ 10:44 pm Struggling......
Current Location: Home without Maia
Current Mood: lonelylonely
...this is the 3rd night I've spent without Maia, I'm now doing another 12 hour day tomorrow instead of a nightshift so Maia is having to stay at my Mum's again. I ache all over, I have blisters on my feet, a sweat rash under my boobs and the burn on my hand is now red raw and inflamed through the constant washing and pulling gloves on and off. The woman I was taking care of yesterday ended up in theatre after getting "stuck" at 8cm for 4 hours only to be whisked back off the table just before knife met skin because of a really awful and very sad emergency, I felt so bad having to leave her when I went off shift at 7.45 last night.

I keep finding myself doubting my future in midwifery and doubting my abilities. Not a good start to my placement but I know tiredness and lack of sleep.....and missing Drew and Maia is taking it's toll.

I feel every journal entry is so negative these days and I'm also feeling guilty about not catching up on friends journals but I promise I will on my days off.
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one mother one midwife
Feb. 1st, 2007 @ 05:38 am Night Class
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
On a more positive note my night class last night was very interesting. The first 2 classes are on genetics and chromosomal disorders. it amazes me how so many of us turn out so well when there are so many things can go wrong right at the very start.

Well looks like the police have eventually shown up and the music and shouting have point in going back to bed now, my alarm's due to going off in 25 minutes. It's going to be a loooooong day till I finish at 7.45 tonight, a lovely wee delivery will make it all worthwhile though :o)
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one mother one midwife
Feb. 1st, 2007 @ 05:17 am *^%&$£&^&*((& AARRRGGGHH :o( :o( :o(
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Someone elses party!!!
I knew I was going to have problems sleeping tonight due to starting in labour ward tomorrow. I didn't think it would be due to a party in my street going on until this time in the morning!! What is it with people these days and a total lack of respect for others? My alarm was set for 6am, which I think is early enough but I've seen every hour since going to bed at 10.30 and have been wide awake since before 4am listening to the thud thud thud of music and people arguing and shouting.
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one mother one midwife
Jan. 31st, 2007 @ 09:41 am Anxiety Hits
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Real Radio
I always end up feeling so anxious before starting a labour ward placement. The last baby I delivered was May 10th last year and I haven't had a proper placement in labour ward for over a year, perhaps it's no wonder I'm anxious. Being in my final year now I know that there'll be so much more expected of me and although I'm sure after the first few days it'll feel like I've never been away....I can't help but worry :o) On top of the anxiety I just found out from one of my classmates that they have now made all the roads surrounding the hospital no parking zones, forcing us to use the multi-storey car park which will cost me £12 for each 12 hour shift I do....I don't get paid to work in the hospital and now it's going to cost me to be there!!! It's sickening really and not just for students and staff but for patients and relatives too.
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